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Fear

My hopes, my dreams and whatever comes at me. I say these words to help myself get through difficult times. I say these words ease my pain. I say these words to comfort my soul. I say these words to tell myself there is nothing to fear. In saying these things I forget that their will always be difficult times, I will always feel pain, my soul will never rest, and fear will always try and consume me. I fight against the pressures and temptations but eventually I realize that I am just a man and that though others tell me I have no limits, I realize I do. I cannot fight forever for a day will come when I will no longer be able to hold back the urges and I will succumb to the temptations that encompass my mind and body. I fear this day not because of what may happen, I fear it because I will have finally lost control and that is my fear. It f eels as though the walls are closing in and the only choice I have is to climb, but in climbing I have left myself alone. I cannot climb down for it is too far, I could let go and it would become the end, or I could continue to climb. I fear the day I cannot continue to climb. I fear the day I lose control. My greatest fear is the day when I lose hope, because all the other which will follow.

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